Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Randomize
