how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
