Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
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