According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
is that a dick in a sweater?
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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