Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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