It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
