How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize