Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
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