i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
