She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
