There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
