Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Randomize
