are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize
