so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
