She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
my god I love twenty year old dicks
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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