don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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