Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
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