now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize
