I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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