My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
