things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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