In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
