do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
My penis needs a shock collar
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
