Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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