I'm lost and stupid without you.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
