haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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