What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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