My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Randomize
