we're blogging at a bar
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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