The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
