; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
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