are you still at the devil's house?
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Holy shit dude........stairs
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