Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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