Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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