Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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