I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
