apparently the secret to your success is patron
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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