Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Randomize
