her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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