I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
