im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
