Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
i think i just lost a toe
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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