I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
