He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
