happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
