he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
