Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
be right there i have to get my cape
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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