That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
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