Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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