While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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