Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
