I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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