The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
