I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
